This is a question that no one ever asked me before, but I always ask myself.

It was my insecurity, not being able to be the best in something, anything. Growing up seeing many accomplished friends who excelled better than me at studies, who are more creative, have more resources and networks, “better” parents, more money. The media exacerbated it too with highlights of the cream of the crop role models.

So, instead of not being the best in something, why not be good in many things?

For anyone who thinks of this as a dilemma, I hope to reassure you that the worry will go away.

Time, a curious mindset, and a tumblr post were what I needed to overcome it.

1. Time

Time is a measure of your experience. As you grow older, your path becomes longer. And when you look back, it wouldn’t have mattered if you were the top student or the best in something. You would still have walked down this path anyway.

I didn’t need to be the best in university to be have gotten a job as an IO. (I barely made it to honours year!) I got posted to P’s Office even when I had no prior experience in staffing and media relations work. I had to drop higher malay in secondary school, continued taking malay in JC, barely passed the subject for ‘O’ and ‘A’ levels, and ended up still doing translating work as part of my job scope when I started my career.

So don’t ever think that you do not deserve the opportunity because you weren’t the “best” candidate. Grab that chance and work on doing your best.

Interesting, how life takes you to the right places at the right time.

2. Curiosity

Instead of lowering your self-esteem by comparing your achievements with others, it may be better to adopt a learning mindset. To always be curious about learning new things, in order to enrich your life. It will also help to keep your mind active and excited.

I have always liked to try new things since young. I’ve tried sports like swimming, squash, basketball, handball, and tchoukball, and skydiving (just gonna count this in ok). I’ve also tried my hand at more artsy things like dance, drums, knitting, pottery. Writing and languages had also been something I particularly liked and wanted to learn more about. I learnt Arabic, Chinese, Sign Language, and am currently learning Thai (planning to learn Tamil after too!). I started DhopsDon’tStop, a blog for my dance club in university, this blog, and wrote for Have Halal Will Travel for quite a while. I also made use of platforms like my office’s internal announcements which I was in charge of and my Instagram posts with puns and poetry.

Disclaimer: My language skills are really terrible. I’m weak in both English and Malay actually (like really!), what more learning all these tough cursive-looking languages! But who cares!

The best part about learning all these, it’s just pure fun. I love learning the basics, starting foundations, learning the background. Learning difficult things doesn’t mean it has to be tiring or boring.

Pity that I am not active enough and didn’t practice often. But it’s ok, we can always learn again.

Try to learn as many things as you can.

Let me share what’s next on my bucket list, for fun:

• Tennis, thanks to Master in the House and Luong for teaching me a bit of basics
• Boxing
• Muay Thai
• Bass Guitar, special thanks to Sab for letting me jam
• Kompang, must embrace malay roots too
• Drums, it has been an on-off affair over the years, gotta pick it up again!
• Singing
• Longboard
• Pilates

3. Understanding the context

All the external factors that I listed out in the beginning is nothing on its own. It physically can’t do anything to me.

Those negative thoughts were just in my head.

Truth to be told, I was in the Class A band back in primary school. I wasn’t the best, but I was comparatively at the top tier? I went to secondary and junior college via direct school admission through basketball. I may not have been the “best” academic student, but maybe I was “best enough” in terms of skills?

My parents said this to me all the time, “Just do your best, results doesn’t matter”. Those role model stories on the news, they are positive pieces, which should be celebrated. It was just me giving myself pressure all along. Alas, it’s human nature, isn’t it?

University life especially showed me how that it was possible for people to have many of their own activities in their pursuit for life, not simply to excel.

Besides, have you ever gotten bored from talking to someone with so many experiences that you can learn from?

Thus, in conclusion:

I am very happy with where I am now. Allhamdulillah.